A Typical Day

March 26, 2016

26 Mar/16

“It’s so good to have someone who will just listen.” Poindexta Smartyskull said to Loudmouf Sneakilla. Loudmouf nodded in reply, as his loudener speakers were switched off. Loudmouf gestured towards some black smoke coming from the Gargant known as Da Gentul Teddy Bear, and shrugged his shoulders.

“Ah,” Smartyskull answered “Manik must be hard at work again. It’s good to know that he keeps my Gargant in good condition. I hope that during this maintenance that no one steals his bike again. Last time I lost two perfectly good trukks and…”

*K-ponk*

Smartyskull was interrupted by an object striking him in the side of the head. It bounced harmlessly off the rusty steel of his mega-armour, and hit the ground with a squelching noise. Reluctantly, Smartyskull looked down to see what had struck him and to his amazement, found that it was an Ork head wearing a Stormboy’s helmet. Smartyskull struggled the right arm out of the sheath that held his Big Shoota, and reached down to pick up the head. It was Jobba. Surprisingly, the still form of the head jerked to life as Smartyskull looked into Jobba’s eyes. Jobba’s lips formed the words “Hiya Boss!” though no sound came out. Jobba’s eyes then darkened and he stopped moving. Smartyskull flung the head behind him, put his arm back in his armour, and turned to Loudmouf.

“Loudmouf, if you would, please get me Rukkstud.” Loudmouf beamed, and turned on his speakers. Before Smartyskull could stop him, he bellowed

“RUKKSTUD!”

The wave of Loudmouf’s shout hit Smartyskull like a Wreckin’ Ball. His Ork instincts made him try to reach out and smash Loudmouf across the jaw. Being dazed, he missed, and fell over. As Loudmouf helped him to his feet, he began to regain his senses. Just in time for another loud boom followed by the hiss of pistons.

“Yer wanted ta see me Boss?” Rukkstud shouted. Smartyskull opened his eyes, blinked several times, and was finally able to make out the form of Rukkstud, awkwardly saluting with one of his gigantic adamantium piston arms, and awkwardly balancing on the other arm, and his choppa. The choppa was being held at a ridiculous angle by a hand protruding from Rukkstud’s pant leg. Smartyskull sighed.

“Rukkstud, you know that I approve of your leadership style. You are one of the few in this camp that appreciates military structure and discipline.”

“Sir! Yessir! Boss! Sir!” Rukkstud shouted.

“However, if I am pelted by another piece of your soldiers, I will conclude that you cannot keep proper discipline, or that your aim is too poor, and I will assign you to being a Deffdread. Do I make myself clear?”

“Sir! Yessir! Boss! Sir! Sir! Boss!”

“Dismissed.” Smartyskull make a waving action with his power klaw, and with that, Rukkstud bounded into the air on a column of acrid gray smoke. Smartyskull held his breath and walked away from the site, followed closely by Loudmouf. “One day.” He muttered under his breath so that Loudmouf would not hear. “One day without… this. Is that too much to ask, Mork?”

Filed under: Storytelling, WAAAAGH! Smartyskull!

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Belated Highland Deathwatch Camapign: Round 1 – MST3K Name Ripoff Extravaganza!

March 25, 2016

25 Mar/16

Ian, manager of the brand new Games Workshop store in Ann Arbor, MI put on a Deathwatch campaign for us.

I decided to join in at least for the first round, using proxies from my own list. The rules for creating a kill team are from the internet. Here’s mine, in all its copycatted glory:

Kill Team Roll Fizzlebeef

-Bob Johnson, Ultramarines Chaplain: Terminator Armour, Bolter-Melta, Crozius Arcanum, Rosarius, Combat Doctrines, Zealot, Rampage, Hammer of Wrath

-Buff Drinklots, Space Wolf Rune Priest: Plasma Pistol, Force Axe, Rune Armour, Frag Grenades, Krak Grenades, Counter Attack, Acute Senses, Night Vision, Hit-and-run, Stealth

-Gristle McThornbody, Blood Angels Apothecary: Power Sword, Narthecium, Melta Bombs, Frag Grenades, Krak Grenades, Furious Charge, Feel No Pain (5+), Rampage

-Smoke Manmuscle, Salamanders Sternguard Heavy: Heavy Flamer, Master Crafted Bolt Pistol, Frag Grenades, Krak Grenades, Special Issue Ammunition, 4+ Feel No Pain vs. Flamer Wounds, Flamer Weapons gain Shred, Tank Hunter

-Reef Blastbody, Dark Angel Sternguard Heavy: Lascannon, Bolt Pistol, Frag Grenades, Krak Grenades, Special Issue Ammunition, Stubborn, Overwatch at BS2, Night Vision, Stealth

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Together with other Deathwatch Kill Teams, they blast heretics and aliens at the behest of an insane inquisitor!

Below, our first battle, in which a planetary governor and a Tau commander’s meeting is disrupted and the leaders captured and brought to the Inquisitor for torture!

Next, Daemons are summoned to protect the traitorous governor’s plans! Will the Deathwatch come out on top? NO. We were beaten badly. One character even got killed PERMANENTLY which isn’t supposed to happen often.

Next: More Gothic batreps and possibly more Deathwatch! Stay tuned!

Filed under: Gaming, Storytelling

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Convoy – Chaos vs. Imperials

January 16, 2016

16 Jan/16

Stephen and I finally got to play the Convoy mission we’ve wanted to for more than a month. Life kept getting in the way. Convoy is the weirdest mission, because it’s all random.

Convoy – Mercurial Zone

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Defender: Stephen – Imperial Navy

-Dauntless Light Cruiser (torpedoes)

-Dauntless Light Cruiser (lances)

-Firestorm x3

-Cobra x2

-Transport x2

-Heavy Transport

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Attacker: Bozeman – Chaos 13th Black Crusade (7 rolls on the Convoy Attacker Chart)

-Slaughter class Cruiser Swiftboat of Truth, Chaos Lord +1Ld

-Slaughter class Cruiser Traitor’s Blade, Chaos Lord +1Ld

-Infidel x3, Rampagers

-Idolater x3, Oathbreakers

-Idolater x2, Followers of Darkness

-Deadfall Torpedo or Attack Craft Cluster x2

-Deadfall Torpedo or Attack Craft Cluster x1

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Setup:

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Turn 1 – Imperial Navy

At the beginning of the turn, we rolled for Solar Flares and it went off! There were no ships on the board, so nothing happened. Stephen moved his entire fleet on. Contact Marker #7 revealed itself as a Deadfall Torpedo wave of 8! It was shot and destroyed before it could endanger the fleet.

Turn 1 – Chaos

Marker 1 is revealed as the Traitor’s Blade which promptly fails to go on All Ahead Full, and merely advances toward the enemy.

Turn 2 – Imperial Navy

All of the fleet except for the Cobras go on All Ahead Full. Contact markers near the fleet reveal as the Swiftboat of Truth and the Followers of Darkness. Cobras fire torpedoes as the Swiftboat of Truth, doing one damage.

Turn 2 – Chaos

Because the enemy was on special orders, two markers reveal as the Rampagers and Oathbreakers. The fleet closes in, and two Transports are destroyed. The Heavy Transport takes one damage from torpedoes from the Rampagers. A teleport attack from the Traitor’s Blade takes out the prow weapons of the Lance Dauntless.

Turn 3 – Imperial Navy

Torpedo Dauntless unloads on the Oathbreakers, and poor brace saves mixed with good torpedo rolls kill all three! Transports all fire on the Followers of Darkness, but miss. The Lance Dauntless repairs its prow.

Turn 3 – Chaos

Most of the fleet fire on the Heavy Transport, crippling it. The Traitor’s Blade causes a Brace on one of the Transport squadrons. Final marker is revealed as two waves of two bombers.

Turn 4 – Imperial Navy

Due to a blast marker, the Rampagers have no shields and so Brace when fired upon by the Firestorm, which saves them. The rest of the fleet move to protect the transports.

Turn 4 – Chaos

The Swiftboat of Truth moves through asteroids, fails a Leadership check, takes 2 damage and then suffers a Hull Breach, crippling it! Semi-effective fire does one more damage to the Heavy Transport. Bombers approach the Transports.

Turn 5 – Imperial Navy

One of the Cobras suicides into the bombers, taking out a wave! The other wave hits a transport and fails dismally. The rest of the fleet continues to cover the transports.

Turn 5 – Chaos

Rampagers Reload, fire on some transports, but amazing brace saves protect them. The crippled Swiftboat of Truth goes on Lock On, but even with that does no damage. Lucky shots from the surviving Followers of Darkness kill a transport.

Turn 6 – Imperial Navy

Heavy Transport goes on All Ahead Full. Torpedo Dauntless Reloads and fires on the Traitor’s Blade, doing one damage. Remaining Cobra Reloads and kills one of the Rampagers. Lance fire from the Lance Dauntless does one damage to the Swiftboat of Truth, starting a fire!

Turn 6 – Chaos

Traitor’s Blade boards the Heavy Transport, turning it into a drifting hulk. Each surviving Rampager boards one of the Transports. One wins, but gets a Critical Hit in return and dies. The other ties! Swiftboat of Truth can’t hurt the fleeing transport.

Turn 7 – Imperial Navy

Lance Dauntless causes a Brace on the Traitor’s Blade. Transport manages to kill the last of the Rampagers! Torpedo Dauntless fires on the Traitor’s Blade, doing no damage. One transport flees past the planet.

Turn 7 – Chaos

Remaining ships kill the second to last transport. Turn not pictured. Game ceded.

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Convoy is rarely a balanced matchup. However, it’s what you do in a mismatch that shows what kind of decisions you can make. Splitting up can help. However, when the attacker has as much as I did, there’s not much you can do.

Next: hopefully painting and Highland!

Filed under: Battlefleet Gothic, Gaming

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