Home Fires – Chapter Thirteen: Beacon
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Gargatok tightened the grip on his choppa. The three other bosses around him eyed him with contempt. This was nothing new. However, this was the first time he thought he couldn’t take all of them. If it wasn’t for Bonespitta ready to spit green fire on command, they probably would have krumped him and taken over his lads.
Well, what was left of his lads.
“Dat’s da plan.” Gargatok said with finality, as if no one could dispute him. He was, after all, the biggest here.
“Yer plan is ‘gimme all da weirdboyz ya got?’” Grizzdakka Wuggard asked.
Urlakk Grimgutz nodded. “Dat’s not a plan. Dat’s an ordah.”
“You givin’ us ordahs, Gargatok Git… smasha?” Mogbrog Dragdug needled.
Gargatok ignored that slight. “Dere’s a plan. You jus’ don’ know it yet.”
“I ain’t givvin’ no weirdboys less I know da plan.” Urlakk said, with the other two assenting with a quick “Yer.”
Gargatok growled. He was out of options. “Awright, fine. Bonespitta, tell ‘em.”
Bonespitta told them.
“Dat’s a terrible plan.” Grizzdakka said. Again, the other two chorused “Yer.”
“You gits gotta betta wun?” Gargatok shouted. “I’s sick of getting bombed! An’ dere’s new Beekies dat’s even ‘arder den ever! We need more dan jus’ lads an’ dakka! We need a WAAAAAGH!”
They all looked at each other.
This time all three of them replied in chorus.
“Yer.”
***
Seven weirdboys were all that there were on Altea. Six of them stood around Rokface Bonespitta. Most of them were just kind of staring off into the distance or shuffling their feet.
“Dey gonna DO anyfing?” Mogbrog asked.
“Jus’ wait. An’ stand back.” Gargatok said.
It took a while. Ol’ Rokface Bonespitta took a bit to get his mojo working. A hum appeared, seemingly from nowhere. Then, Bonespitta shot out beams of green energy from his abdomen, connecting to the heads of the other weirdboys around him. He began to rise up in the air. Green light spilled from his eyes and mouth.
“Is it workin’, Bonespitta?” Gargatok shouted through cupped hands.
“I… tink… so…” Bonespitta began before his voice changed. “Oo’s dis?” someone shouted through Bonespitta’s mouth.
Gargatok stepped up, entering the creepy circle. “Dis ‘ere’s Gargatok Gitsmasha, uv da Deffskulls.”
“Never ‘eard ov ya!” the voice on the other end said with a laugh. “Whatchu want?”
“I wanna…” Gargatok was interrupted by one of the weirdboy’s heads exploding. He wiped the gore from his face and continued. “I wanna talk to yer boss. Who’s leadin’ you gits?”
“Thraknar Zan Gulga, Arch-Lord of da Karaman Neb-you-luh.” The voice replied.
“Git ‘im right now, an’ make it quick!”
The presumed Ork on the other end of this horrific communication made some sort of noise that Bonespitta’s vocal chords had trouble replicating. Silence hung in the air for a while, occasionally punctuated by another exploding weirdboy head. Urlakk complained but the other bosses told him to shut his gob. After what seemed like lots of time, because it was, a much deeper voice took over Bonespitta.
“You da weedy git callin’ my WAAAAGH?”
“Yer, boss.” Gargatok said, purposely making his voice a bit higher.
A deep, wheezing laugh answered. “Wot’s a runt like you need?”
“Jus’ wanted you to know boss. We’s ‘ere on a humie world, Altea. Dey’s Beekies ‘ere, but not reg’lar ones. New ones. Dey’s bigga dan normal Beekies an’ ded ‘ard! Only fing can krump ‘em is a great big WAAAAGH!”
“Hmmm, ‘arder Beekies…”
“Yer! Wif lotsa shiny gubbins and big shooty gunz!”
After a pause the voice asked “Wot color dey ‘elmets is?”
“Blue! Proppa color!”
Another weirdboy exploded. The bright lines connecting Rokface to the last two began to flicker and fade.
“Boss! Can’t keep dis goin’ fer long!” Gargatok shouted. “Whattaya say?”
There was no response.
“BOSS!” Gargatok shouted.
“I could use some blue ‘elmets fer me bosspole…” the voice replied. One more weirdboy exploded and the green energy disappeared. Bonespitta crashed to the forest floor, out cold. The other surviving weirdboy also fell unconscious.
Gargatok turned to the other bosses. “Looks like we gotta WAAAAAGH comin’!”
They bellowed a mighty WAAAAAGH in reply. Soon the whole forest echoed with it.