Home Fires – Chapter Twenty-Two: Confrontation
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Gargatok Gitsmasha was not an idiot. He (eventually) figured out why his body was sore and why he felt restless.
He was going to be the new Boss, or he was going to die.
The second of those two options barely registered in Gargatok’s mind. After all, Ork psychology was crude but extremely streamlined and goal oriented. Thinking about Thraknar Zan Gulga krumping him for being an upstart didn’t help Gargatok, so he just didn’t do it. It was that simple. What was less simple was how Gargatok would prevail.
He had quite a lot of time. The campaign eastward was almost as profitable as the Humie King had promised. Most of the food was gone, but there was still lots to go around, and plenty of vehicles to loot. With so many lads and so much loot around, many of Gargatok’s lads either developed the skills of a Mek, or had been Meks all along and just remembered. Gargatok didn’t really care which of these was true; he had Meks now, and he’d have a snazzy new fleet of buggies, trukks, battlewagons, and other assorted machines.
One thing he couldn’t do is stop. He knew Thraknar was hot on his heels, and probably murderously angry about Gargatok having stolen his best trukks. So, the Meks made repairs on the move, hanging off the sides of the makeshift farm equipment as they put their own special touches on them. A few vehicles exploded during this, which Gargatok disapproved of, even though watching the occasional Mek blow up was hilarious.
Soon, Gargatok’s forces ran into something he couldn’t just steamroll over; the sea. On the coast, the Meks really got to work. Sealing unlucky grots and lads into kans and dreads, fabricating shootas, sluggas, and other weaponry from the farm equipment. Other lads got to work putting up scrap metal barricades and crude bunkers to defend if Thraknar gave an all-out assault. Gargatok insisted on supervising these emplacements. As he was shouting orders to build himself the biggest, best bunker, a loud clunk caught his attention. Stomping around the back of the bunker, he found a gretchin trying in vain to lift a big shoota that had fallen on another grot. The squashed grot was dead, but the other one seemed more interested in lifting the gun that had crushed his comrade.
“Ere now, whazzis? You nikkin’ dis shoota, runt?” Gargatok bellowed.
The grot shot into the air in surprise, but amazingly landed perfectly and gave a deep bow. “No, boss!” he whimpered. “We wasn’t nikkin nuffin! Dis ‘ere shoota jus looked like a good one so we… uh… wanted to give it to ya! Yeah, that’s it, we jus’ wanted the boss to have a nice shiny shoota.”
“You grots wanted to gimme a big shoota…” Gargatok said, motioning with his power klaw, “…dat’s got a big pintle fer mountin’ on a wall?”
The grot paled very briefly before nodding enthusiastically. “Yer, boss! We was gonna get it put up on top of yer armour an’ shoot it fer ya, so’s you don’ hafta fink about shootin’ an’ you can jus’ krump humies!”
Inspiration hit Gargatok like a lightning bolt. “Dat gives me an idea! You know ‘ow ta shoot dis?”
“Yer! Yer! I can shoot it fer ya, boss!” the grot said after a brief sigh of relief.
“Good, what am I gonna call ya?” Gargatok asked.
“Name’s Gluk, good ta be workin’ fer ya, boss!”
“Nar, dat name’s stoopid. I useta ‘ave a grot called Skabberdink fore da Humies bombed ‘im. I’z jus gonna call ya Skabberdink.”
“Yer, boss, dat’s a good’un!”
“Shaddup, now lissen, ‘ere’s da plan…”
***
Everything was ready.
Lads? Armed to the teef.
Trukks? Loaded.
War Wagon? Rumbling.
Bikes? Smokin’
Morkanaut? Still dripping paint, but itching for a fight.
Gunz? Fortified and stocked.
Choppa? Big and rippy.
All that was needed was Thraknar Zan Gulga.
Of course, Thraknar was days away, so Gargatok got himself a bite to eat. His new assistant Skabberdink practiced with the Big Shoota mounted to the top of his Mega Armour. The runt was a fantastic shot and never forgot an order, which was good because Gargatok didn’t have time to train another grot.
But then the day came. Thraknar’s army approached.
“GARGATOK GITSMASHA!” Thraknar’s voice roared over the fallow fields.
“YER?” Gargtok shouted back.
“COME OVVA ‘ERE SO’S I CAN KRUMP YA!”
“YOU AIN’T THE BOSS OF ME!” Gargatok shouted, full of defiance. Hs lads hooted as Thraknar’s Goffs let out an audible “ooooooooh.”
“ZAT SO?”
“DAT’S SO!”
A mighty WAAAAAAAAAAAGH erupted from both sides. Green waves clashed. Blue clad lads went toe-to-toe with lads in checkered black. Explosions rocked the battlefield. Debris flew everywhere.
Then, in the middle, there were two.
Both Warbosses, each in a hulking suit of Mega Armour squared off.
Thraknar charged, his mind clouded with rage, bellowing with all his might.
Gargatok stood, hefted his two handed choppa and looked up at Skabberdink, who gave him a knowing nod.
On cue, the mounted big shoota over his head erupted with a torrent of fire. By some miracle all of it was right on target: Thraknar’s right side (the one to Gargatok’s left). One of the bullets split his jowl open. He came on like a Squiggoth, barely deflecting his path to Gargatok’s right to dodge the torrent of shells.
Gargatok stepped forward and to his left, just missing the nip of Thraknar’s Power Klaw. With two quick swings, Gargatok’s bladed choppa bit into the thick armour of Thraknar’s right side, just under the impressive shoota mounted on his arm. Gargtok spun, more nimbly than someone in that much armour should, and brought the head of the choppa around in a desperate two-handed swing that had all of his strength behind it.
Black oil sprayed into the air as cables and hydraulics split. Thraknar’s charge faltered as his right leg stumbled.
“Dat all ya got, Arch-Lord?” Gargatok sneered.
“Nar, got jus’ a bit more…” Thraknar retorted as he smashed a red button on his lapel. With a leap that left Gargatok speechless, Thraknar launched himself at Gargatok. With a flickering snik sound, the mighty Klaw on Thraknar’s hand tore through Gargatok’s armour in at least three places that he felt, possibly more.
Screaming in confusion, Gargatok planted a huge square foot on Thraknar’s chest and heaved. Thraknar, unable to stop his momentum with a damaged leg, toppled and crashed. Gargatok arrested his backwards momentum with the haft of his big choppa and then rumbled forward. Gargatok brought the choppa up in an overhead swing. Thraknar raised his Klaw to catch the coming blow, but Gargatok saw this, and deflected it to the left. The choppa fell through the gap of Thraknar’s armour and severed most of his right arm, spraying gore.
Thraknar roared and rolled to his left, attempting to get to his feet by pushing off with his power klaw. Gargatok let loose a barrage of swings at his back, but the smoking engines powering Thraknar’s armour deflected them all.
Thraknar turned, bleeding but still lethal, and once again clipped his Klaw at Gargatok. Gargatok danced backwards, once again on the defensive. Thraknar’s Klaw grabbed Gargatok’s left hand and pulled Gargatok towards him. The two massive Orks stood face to face.
“Wan’ me ta end it?” Thraknar teased.
“Nar.” Gargatok quipped. “Dis is da mos’ fun I’ve ‘ad in my life.”
Thraknar growled and crushed Gargatok’s hand. Gargatok howled and pushed forward, headbutting Thraknar. They fell onto each other. Gargatok headbutted Thraknar again and again until Thraknar threw him off.
However, Gargatok was ready this time. Raising his choppa with his good hand just as he was thrown off, he brought the blade down on Thraknar’s face as he fell.
Gargatok’s ruined hand twitched hard around the Big Choppa’s throttle.
The spinning blades in his choppa ate into Thraknar’s face.
Gargatok stood and raised the choppa high, bringing it down in a final arc that severed what was left of Thraknar’s head.
All around him, Deffskull and Goff boys stood.
Gargatok hefted his choppa and bellowed a mighty WAAAAAAAAAGH!
The boys echoed him, over and over again.
This was his warband now. His planet. His WAAAAAAAAAGH.