Home Fires – Chapter Twenty-Four: Meet the New Boss
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Intro 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 Epilogue
A sickening crunch filled the air as the Humie dangling from a rope was consumed by a titanic Squiggoth. Gargatok almost fell over as the ground shook from the impact of its huge front feet.
“We’s trainin’ ‘em good, boss!” the Runtherd said with glee. Across the plains, Squighog Boyz got used to new mounts as they crashed into huge melee pits. An arm flew through the air and a very ambitious squighog bucked its rider to jump and catch the morsel midair.
“Good job, lad.” Gargatok said noncommittally.
“So, you’s want me to tame lots more? We could ride ‘em, train lads to be Beast Snaggaz, get do whole WAAAAGH goin?” Anticipation filled the Runtherd’s voice.
“Hmmmmm…”
***
Towering gantries surrounded a skeleton of a god. Swarms of Grots armed with hammers, power tools, and buckets of rivets made the surface of the Gargant seem almost alive. Nearby, smaller scaffolds surrounded other smaller, yet still imposing walkers under construction.
“Dis ‘ere’s gonna be my finest achievement…” Zapp Gutzcrushah said, voice tinged with tears of joy. “Boss never liked Gargants, said dey woz too ‘spensive an’ ‘ard ta get down to a planet. But you said teef was no object, so’s I built you dis ‘ere beauty…”
“Good job, lad.” Gargatok said noncommittally.
“Ya know, I gots plans fer lots of Killa Kanz, Deffdreads, an’ Gorkanauts. You say da word an’ I’ll quadruple yer order…”
“Hmmmmm…”
***
Gargatok shuddered as the rows of black checkered lads stood at brisk attention. Many had rocket packs protruding from their backs.
“Now dat you’s da boss, you can be da one wot does inspections.” One of Thraknar’s old Nobs barked. “Goffs is da bes’ trained. I know you’s a Deffskull an’ all dat, but we take pride in ‘avin da mos’ lads. We can flood da Humies an’ da Beekies!”
“Good job, lad.” Gargatok said noncommittally.
“If’n ya want, we can press-gang yer lads from ‘ere, an more besides! Enough lads to make Mork an gork proud!”
“Hmmmmm…”
***
With an ear-splitting ZOOM, the buggies raced by at breakneck speeds. Gargatok had trouble keeping up with them. One seemed to disappear into a crackling yellow portal, only to emerge in the lead while trailing ice and fog. Another blasted that one with a huge gun mounted to the top. The lads on that buggy hooted until an exploding squig knocked their driver off course.
“Dis ain’t all,” the ork with terminal Speed Frek Grin managed to force out of his upwardly curved jaws. “Gots bikes too, an we’s rebuildin’ our fighta-bommaz!”
“Good job, lad.” Gargatok said noncommittally.
“Say da word, an’ I’ll ‘ave bikes, buggies, or Trukks for every lad in da WAAAAAGH!”
“Hmmmmm…”
***
“You said round up da meanest, biggest Orks.” Mogbrog Dragdug said. “So, dat’s wot I did.”
Did he ever. Crowds of huge Nobs teetered out of the flatbeds of hulking Battlewagons. Blocks of Meganobs with rippy buzzsaws and mean klaws were so dense a grot could walk across without jumping. A few fights broke out, only to be smashed down by local and off-world Warbosses.
“Good job, lad.” Gargatok said noncommittally.
“Nobs ain’t easy to find…” Mogbrog whispered “…but I can scare up a bunch more. Maybe even smack a few lads until they find enough mojo to join ‘em.”
“Hmmmmm…”
***
“So,” Rokface Bonespitta burbled, “…which of da proposals fer da WAAAAAGH are you goin’ for, boss?”
“All of ‘em.” Gargatok said with surety.
Bonespitta fumbled his rattle-clad staff. “All of ‘em? Dere’s not enough teef or lads or dakka fer all of ‘em!”
“Yer,” Gargatok said with a deep smile, “…but dey don’ know dat.”